Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
