She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
