Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
