I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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