Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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