Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize