I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
