Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
