Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
