dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I won the penis lottery.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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