one two three fourrrrnication!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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