i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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