Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
