yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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