I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
