My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
