kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
