I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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