woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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