two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
