he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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