and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
