I hate your face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
