And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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