dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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