Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
