I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize