Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
whose parrot is this?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
