My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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