will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
