I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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