And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
