Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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