So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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