i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
