it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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