my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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