Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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