After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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