I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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