like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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