sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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