I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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