bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize