She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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