Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize