is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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