new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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