I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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