Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize