This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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