Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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