I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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