Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
