she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
