Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
