I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he fucked my hip out of place.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
