I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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