It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize