how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
