My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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