At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize