I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We talked him into tasing himself.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
