For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
